Purpose
Everything in the mind starts from something bigger than yourself. A higher calling. Something that drives you. As a man you need a mission. You need to see a future for you and yours. Something unique to you. Your vision for what you want, not what someone else thinks you should do.
This purpose is a spark that creates urgency and passion to fuel your flight. It is a constant yearning. This is what gets you up in the morning. This is what make you go to sleep on time. This is gives you the drive to push through where others will hesitate, acquiesce, and falter.
Without purpose you become purposeless. You become without direction. You become compliant. You become a follower. You become weak. You become stale.
You’ll see the purposeless fellow who lacks light in their eye. They lack ingenuity. They are boring. They are lazy. They are content with how things are and reject change. They go nowhere.
A Higher Calling
The very first thing you must ask yourself is what is your objective. What is it exactly that you wish to achieve? You mustn't set yourself on a purpose below your true calling fearing failure (in which case you’ve already lost). You mustn’t follow the fads of the time, interests of others, or pressures from authority figures. You must think on a purpose that you can see yourself persevering regardless of what happens.
Of course as you mature, a fire for one purpose grows weak while another gets stronger. Be honest with yourself and don’t be afraid to be bold in your decisions. There is no glory in hesitating.
Thinking on a higher calling is what allows us to map out a plan. This is exactly what created Football Entangled. My drive and promise to become the best possible footballer I could become. That purpose drove me to find solutions to challenges along the way. That obsession is what gave me the fortitude to push on where others didn't see a way forward.
Below we’ll touch on some areas surrounding a strong purpose or a lack of purpose.
Confidence
Do you believe in yourself?
Do you believe you deserve success? If you deep down your subconscious doesn't believe you are deserving of success then it definitely won't happen.
Do you deep down have a higher purpose that actually means something and has a tangible outcome?
One without purpose and drive will have no confidence. Unwilling to admit to yourself your true purpose is merely being too afraid to put yourself on the line. This is fear of failure, rejection, and proving your self-doubt true.
A purpose is the root cause of confidence. It comes from within. You must be able to look yourself in the eye and be honest. Lying to yourself only leads to more suffering in the long run.
A good way to analyze yourself is to look at your actions. We could see your true self-beliefs by actions. Do your actions in life look like that of a being that truly believes in themselves or is it one that wants to simply look the part?
Swagger
True confidence comes from literally feeling it. You could say this could be feeling it in the mind as well as feeling it in the body. It is intrinsic. It is not temporary or elevated by drugs or alcohol.
This is when confidence becomes exuberant. This is when you know down to your core, that you "got it". This is where that amused smirk comes from telling everyone that "you know something they don't".
Most if not all Naturals carry this. Some show it in a loud and audacious manner while others carry it quietly. Though, I would put my money on the guy who doesn't need to show it. The guy who is so self-validated that he feels no need to impress anyone, except himself...
Love
Only a labor of love is sustainable
- Paul Chek
Your purpose must be something you love. Something you would kill for. Something you would give whatever it took to get there. If you do not love your purpose then toss it out and keep looking.
The Entangled Footballer loves to win and hates to lose.
Fear
Fear is only a lack of knowledge about the world and/or oneself.
What are you really alive for? What gets you up every single day? What could you see yourself doing for the rest of your life.
People fall into fear because they do not have a life dream, goal, objective bigger than themselves.
What about fear of failure? What about fear of success? Such polar opposites yet both are closely aligned.
Lack of purpose will see your train run off the tracks. Fear will throw you off the tracks.
Smile and fear nothing. The Entangled Footballer looks destiny in the eye and seizes it. Raise your self-worth and toss out impulsive thoughts of insecurity.
Hesitation
Here you must ask how bad do you really want it? Is your will unwavering and unbreakable?
Or do you compromise and stutter time and time again. The world is for the taking. It's up to you to make it happen.
Your purpose must be true to filter out hesitation. You must embrace adversity. Do you believe in yourself? If you don't, no one else will...
Anger
How many people do you see who are incapable of controlling their anger and make rash decisions leading to their demise? You see that character type all the time in movies and tv shows.
They allow their emotions to take over. They allow their emotions to control them. A lack of a clear defined purpose lets their temper boil over and throw everything to the dumpsters.
Instead:
Concentrate your energies. Don't be distracted by what's not important. Focus on your goals. Win the game. Who cares how you do it. Put the ball in the net.
Depression
Looking past the physical factors covered elsewhere in the course, depression is also a symptom of being aimless and without definitive purpose.
Are you okay with just being you?
Are you happy with who are you?
Are you happy with just being in the now?
You'll find many people in this world are extremely anxious, drugged, "busy", maniac, bipolar, or depressed. This is merely their way of distracting themselves from their internal problems.
They aren't able to just sit with themselves and embrace life. Unconsciously these people make poor choices in their life or relationships in order to continuously provide distraction.
This can also happen where people incur large expenses or responsibilities that again drag them away from their dream their poor self-esteem believed they would never achieve. They keep doing this until the Pain teacher wakes them up at rock bottom. At that point it's often too late...
If you have a big enough dream, you don't need a crisis.
- Psychologist Jerry Rice
Fear, confidence, and self-perfection all move on the same path.
It's often times self-defeating to be so hard on yourself because you create the grounds for more mistakes, creating a vicious cycle.
But it's also good that you are hard on yourself because it shows you care.
I think it's best to separate the confidence one has in oneself and their ability/future/potential from the ongoing of any one practice or match.
You're always going to make mistakes. No one is perfect. The only way you "lose" is allowing those mistakes to worsen your future decisions. You "win" be learning from this mistakes.
Make your purpose rock-solid so that the ups and downs of everyday life and each individual football game do not lead you astray too high or too low.
Shake it off and take a step up
One day a farmer's donkey fell into an abandoned well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway; so it just wasn't worth it to him to try to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. Realising what was happening, the donkey at first cried and wailed horribly. Then, a few shovelfuls later, he quieted down completely.
The farmer peered down into the well, and was astounded by what he saw. With every shovelful of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing some thing amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up on the new layer of dirt. As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off, to the shock and astonishment of all the neighbours. Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to not let it bury you, but to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!
And finally, the donkey gave the farmer who tried to bury him a good kicking. Which brings me to another moral for this story - When you try to cover your ass, it always comes back and gets you.
Author Unknown
The Monkey Mind
Last but not least: the monkey mind. Something a great number of people have these days. Constantly jumping from thought to thought without the ability to actually focus on one thing for an extended amount of time.
Meditation is a great way to solve this, but first is recognizing you are doing it in the first place. Most people are oblivious to the fact they can't even fix their bed in the morning or not misplace their wallet or phone.
They are simply unaware their mind is basically wandering aimlessly unable to act with precision and solve issues. I find a lot of young footballers are stuck in this mode of thinking and end up thinking their way out of the game and out of ACTING.
You are nothing until you ACT. Stop asking thousands of questions and DO.
You'll learn a thousand times faster by simply making mistakes trying to do things and then fixing them.
Develop a strong purpose so you can always realize to forget about stuff that doesn't matter and focus only on the essential.
Exercise
Get a journal and pen, then complete the exercise at the link below. Everything needs to be written in the present tense.
"I am..." instead of "I want..."
Good Reading:
Think & Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill
Outwitting the Devil - Napoleon Hill
Meditations - Marcus Aurelius
The Rational Male - Rollo Tomassi
The Obstacle is the Way - Ryan Holiday
Letters from a Stoic - Seneca
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