I had been to Europe before playing a few showcase tournaments in Sweden, Denmark, Holland, and Turkey, but this time was different. It was a real trial with a major club. Panathinaikos in Athens, Greece. At the time they were in the Europa league and pushing for the league title. It was my chance.

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Before we go any further, we need to back up.

Before my last year of highschool began, I was having trouble with my current academy coaches on the back of me going to several international showcase with a different team.

I ended up leaving my local academy and an academy 2 hours away was my other option. I was driving there and back 5 times per week. This was another level to my sacrifices that I didn't think was possible.

I was training multiple times a day plus a gym workout and now driving multiple hours every day. Looking back, I realize the toll all that sitting and driving had on my body. It definitely lowered my athleticism. Fascia has been shown to develop adaptations to excessive time in poor postures. It's just your body attempting to help adapt to what you're doing. It doesn't know this is disadvantageous for athletics or long-term health.

Another dagger in the breakdown of my athleticism and long-term potential. Of course, this isn't something discussed. Everyone says "Wow!". You are so determined. You are so strong. You are driving all that way for Football! While of course you'll have to make some sacrifices for Football, if it is damaging your body, athleticism, and long-term potential what's the point?

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This is a common theme that seems to get lost among the average footballer. They lose focus on the end goal and get lost in the trenches. This means we end up doing things that are bad for our long term goals but achieve a short term goal we think we need to achieve.

True meaning: To bring self-harm in causing harm to someone (or even your future self).

Now I stuck it out with this team and training schedule for almost the whole year. I'd come home from school and crash on the couch after gorging down some "healthy" food. This would be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat bread or some frozen meals. The peanut butter full of lectins and seed/vegetable oils. The jelly is just straight up sugar and deuterium. The bread full of lectins causing gut inflammation and constant insulin spikes. Likely causing me to nap so much after school. Looking back I almost laugh how bad the state of my body was, but I pushed through showing the power of youth and perseverance.

A cautionary tale for any of you who are teenagers. Don't let your sense of invincibility let you make poor decisions around lifestyle, training, and nutrition simply because you don't feel instant direct effects. The amount of growth you are going through during your teenage years sets you up for long-term success. Don't let it be subpar. You deserve the best.

Now let's bring it back. I'm flying across the world to Greece. 16 hour flight. 2 hours on the metro to my agent's apartment which was far downtown from the airport which is outside the city. Then my agent got his wallet stolen on the metro. Another hour spent filing a police report which of course never leads to anything. A great start to my time there.

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The Trial

The Panathinaikos training center was about 2 hours away from where I was staying. I was doing that almost every day for a month. Sitting, walking, and standing on the train going across Athens. The first day was nerve-wracking. Ironically the thing that was worrying me the most was if I was going to get gear or not. Anxiety about what I was going to wear! I've come a long way. Funny enough, they gave me some cheap gear to wear the first day. The next day I was given first-team apparel to wear.

It was an interesting experience. The first day I trained with the Under-20 side. They weren't that great, but much better than back in the US. Everyone was technical and knew where to go. There wasn't so much of people just relying on their athleticism. I played quite well the first day and actually showed some dominance over many of their players. The next day, I was tossed into a reserve team scrimmage. This was basically a mid-week friendly for all the first-team players to get some game time who didn't play at the weekend. It was against a local 2nd division pro team. Theses are the kind of games where younger players get the chance to show themselves.

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I played great. I was ecstatic. I felt this weird feeling of honor and duty playing with a famous badge on my chest. It makes you want to elevate and play bravely. There were many first-team players on the field with me. There is quite a sense of calm when you have experienced pros along side you. I continued training with the Under-20s for the remainder of my time there.

After a few weeks, Easter came around and the club was on vacation for a few days. The club told my agent they wanted someone young ready to start on the first team. They thought I was good enough to start for a club outside the top 4, but I wasn't ready for them. They even told me I needed to get in the gym and bulk up. I could play well, but didn't have that pro physique. This is where I learned that the look matters just as much (or even more) than how you play.

As you can imagine, this feedback set me upon the gym path. It set me upon a path of further no pain no gain. At the biggest moment in my life so far, it meant everything to me. It created an anger and frustration inside because I knew I was good enough. At that time, I was still under the illusion of bad genes causing poor physique so that was what I blamed.

Now in retrospect, I realize that when coaches say something like that, it's not really what they mean. They want the pro look. They want the strength. They want the Natural. They unknowingly want the function (because our human nature makes us think it's the same). The only problem nowadays is that we can cheat the form while destroying the function. We can go to the gym and create the look while not developing the actual function underneath.